


Her Anxiety Does Not Make Her

by Kayla_Lightwood, TheAmazingBookWorm (RainInSpain)



Series: Ally and Fay's Universe [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Swearing, Triggers for Panic/Anxiety Attacks, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-03 05:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5278784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayla_Lightwood/pseuds/Kayla_Lightwood, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainInSpain/pseuds/TheAmazingBookWorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alekto Day, most commonly known Ally, is a YouTuber with extreme social anxiety but has a need to be social. What happens when she plans to go to Vidcon?</p>
<p>Sorry sucky summary sucks<br/>Co-author is my best friend and helps with ideas and writing stuff, and I do most posting stuff.<br/>Please note that I try to post every other thursday. Sometime there are writing blocks or I'm distracted so it won't always be the case</p>
<p>Being rewritten currently as of 2/20/18</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Video by Fury's Music uploaded 20 minutes ago: Fury's Vlog #16: Vidcon Info  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
"Hey guys, it's a me, Ally. So I plan on going to Vidcon this year. Of course my social anxiety is a factor if I go or not.... But...! This year I'll have my amazing friend Fay-" "Hello!" Comes from behind the camera. "Thanks for introducing your self Fay, now just hold the camera for me? Okay so yeah no crowding me. I'll try to preform on stage this year, and this year I'm going to get my books signed." Ally gestures to the book shelf behind her over flowing with random books. "So that's about it. Hope to see you there, my demigods!"


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vidcon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have had this up soon but I got distracted by stuff like fan fiction and phan fiction along with homework so yup. But here it is. Chapter one.

"Come on Ally, you're going to fucking Vidcon this year!" Fay shouts as she pulls the cover off of Ally, who is--well was now- hiding in the fore mentioned cover from the world with her laptop and tablet. "No I'm not! Everyone is going to hate me. Im going to make a complete fool of myself on stage. And worse of all I could embarrass myself in front of other YouTubers like Dan, Phil, Markiplier, Paint, and so many more!" Ally says in a panic as she grabs the cover back and tries to pull it out of Fay's grip. "Ally, sweetie, you'll be fine. I'll be there, your fans love you to fucking pieces, and your performance will be fine."  
"Promise?"  
"I pinkie promise."  
Ally final crawls off the hotel bed, put on her glasses, and tentatively get ready for Vidcon. Putting on her 'I mourn the death of fictional characters' t-shirt, her sheet music skirt, and her black converse that have white polka dots. Along with putting her red hair in a half updo -which pulls back and hides her fringe- with a pin that matches her skirt after straightening it. Fay puts on her Dan and Phil UK tour shirt, black skinny jeans, black leather jacket, black combat boots, YouTube earrings and a gray beanie.  
As Ally packs her Dan and Phil pixel people backpack with about 5 different books, her sketch pad, pencils, headphones, and tablet, Fay puts Ally's Ukulele, electric guitar, and her own bag -which she packed before getting Ally out of her hiding place- by the door of the hotel room.  
"Alright, let get this show on the road." Calls Fay as she opens the door to leave the hotel room.  
The ride to Vidcon was mostly filled with Ally worrying about nothing and everything and Fay calming her down. Other then that it went pretty smooth.  
Ally and Fay got to the booth they were assigned and set up a mental plan of action as they set up. "Aright, so I'm going to make sure everyone doesn't fucking crowd you while you talk to two to three fans at a time," Fay says relaying the plan a second time. "Yup, 'til I tell you 'de trop' so you can get me out," Ally replies.  
Thankfully there was little problems with greeting fan and signing stuff. Ally played her ukulele and sang with fans every once and a while. Though there was one small group of fans that refused to listen to Fay and scared Ally, but they didn't stay long after Fay started to yell.  
Soon it was time for Ally to preform on stage. Some fans did approach Ally and Fay but not a lot as they were walking over. Backstage though was a entirely different story though.  
"Fay.... I can't go out there," Ally says slowly like talking to a child that wasn't understanding.  
"Ally. Sweetheart. You fucking can. You'll be fine. You're going to sing your song, play your guitar, and look fab and badass doing all that," Fay reassures while holding both of Ally's shoulders and shaking her slightly, both girls' long hair swaying, one set red, one set a really pale blonde.  
The scared and nervous look on Ally's face is all Fay needed to know that there was more to be said to actually calm her down before a full anxiety attack kicks in.  
"Okay, how 'bout we go over what your going to do on stage, yeah? So your going to get introduced to the audience by the YouTubers on stage. They are going to ask a question or two before they ask what song you'll be preforming. The song you are preforming is "Hallelujah" by Panic! At The Disco with your guitar and singing"  
"Who's introducing me?" Ally asks, calmer now.  
Fay looks around and sees one of the stage hand people. "Hey, you, do you know who is introducing Fury's Music onto the stage?" Fay inquires to the male stage hand with blue dyed hair. The stage hand looks up for a second, a little startled. He looks back down at a clip board and looks through it quickly, his somewhat long hair covering his eyes. "It seems that Dan Howell and Phil Lester with be."  
"Kay, thank you..."  
"Clarke, Clarke James."  
"I'm Fay William. Thanks again Clarke," Fay replies with a smile and a wave heading back to Ally who was messing with her electric guitar.  
"Okay... So don't freak out-" Fay starts.  
"Why would I freak out?" Ally asks.  
"Well.... You're going to be introduced by Dan And Phil..." Fay says quickly after drawing out the first word.  
"Dan and Phil? Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil? Oh my god. I... I am going to make a fool of myself," Ally says with complete certainty as she slide to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pintrest: https://www.pinterest.com/AddelynneJae/  
> My board is the title of this fic  
> Enjoy, comment, kudos, bookmark, subscribe and stuff


	3. Chapter Two

"Ally get the fucking hell off the floor, you are not going to embarrass yourself goddamnit, bloody hell, you are going to go out there and be your badass motherfucking self, and knock the socks off those fuckers, and then become besties with Dan and Phil, and then we'll ride off into the sunset on a fucking unicorn that shits rainbows out of its ass. Also do you want me to come up on stage with you, sweetheart?"  
"Okay..." Ally says hesitantly while picking herself up off the floor. Ally moves slowly to get her guitar strap over her head and moves the guitar behind her.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~Time to go on stage~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"So our next guest is..." Dan starts, as him and Phil continue together, "Fury's Music!" Dan and Phil gesture to the side of the stage where Ally comes on stage with hesitation with Fay following, pushing her by her shoulder and waving.

"Hello everyone," Ally says quietly into her mic when the crowd quiets down which brings another round of yelling/cheering.  
"Okay, so to get to know..." Dan starts.  
"Ally," is the response from Phil.  
"Right, Ally. Wait, Phil, how'd you know that?" Dan asks looking over to phil.   
"What, I do my research!" This exclamation causes Ally to blush and Fay to chuckle and give Ally a light, suggestive, but playful shove.

"Okay... So to get to know Ally and her friend, we are going to ask random personal questions." Dan continues on.  
"My name is Fay," said person replies with a slight eye roll.  
"Alright, you two ready for questions?" Asks Phil. With a nod from Ally and a 'hell yeah' from Fay, the questions start.

"Okay. So first question. Um... What is a quality of the other person that you hate?" Asks Dan. Ally and Fay look at each other with Ally glaring at Fay.

"Okay. So Fay is extremely messy. She leaves little piles of random stuff all over the house. And when I go to clean them up she yells at me." Ally says angrily with wide hand gestures.  
"I only yell at you because I have stuff in certain places so I know where they are. Its called organized chaos." Fay retaliates, turning towards Ally and pointing at her.  
"Well why can't you leave the "organized chaos" in your room?" Ally throws back with air quotes and pointing at Fay at 'your.'  
"Well why do you have to clean everything five times a day, and have a house plant in EVER FRICKING ROOM!?"  
The bickering continues on for another minute or so. Dan and Phil look at each other in slight surprise. This timid girl was basically pushed on to the stage and now she seems perfectly fine. Also -in Phil's case- she like house plants.

"Well this got heated. Why don't we ask another question?" Dan asks cutting into the argument. Both girls look over at Dan at the same time. Ally then looking over to the audience briefly, shuts her mouth instantly, which doesn't go unnoticed by Phil and many people from the crowd.

"Oh um sorry about that... Its kind of a touchy topic. Probably the only problem we have living in the same apartment." Fay says brushing off any embarrassment quickly.

"Its okay. Living with someone can't be perfect all the time. Me and Dan have problems too," Phil replies.  
"'Dan and I'" corrects Ally.  
"What?" Asks Dan and Phil together.  
"The correct why to say it is 'Dan and I' not 'me and Dan'" Ally says again.  
"Ignore her. She can be a grammar nazi," Fay rolls her eyes.  
"Well excuse me and my bachelors degrees in English language literature and creative writing," Ally sasses back.  
"Really? What made you do those as your degrees?" Asks Phil.  
"My mom actually made me. I wanted to go for a degree in music theory and composition. I actually went to Cornell University," Ally says with a shrug. The audience erupted in talking at that.

"Well thats a bit sad, but we have time for one more question if Ally is going to preform today," Phil starts which quiets down the audience, "and my question is for Ally only. So Ally, what's your full name?" Ally freezes at the question. Ally's name is not a normal name. Most people just assume that it 'Allison' or 'Alexandra' or something along those lines.

"Well they were going to find out at some point, Ally," Fay says in a 'I told you so' kind of way.  
"What? It can't be that bad," Dan says.  
"Well it's pretty bad... Um, its... Well... Uh..." Ally sputters while tapping her index fingers together like an anime character. Fay rolls her hands to gesture 'come on, say it.'  
"Alekto. My name is Alekto. Spelled A-L-E-K-T-O," Ally rushes out. There's a silence that settles through out the whole room.

"Oh, that's way your channel is called Fury's Music," Phil says before laughing, "that makes so much sense now." Ally blushes and Fay joins in the laughter. Dan gives a confused look, then shakes his head in exasperation at Phil.

"Okay I'm sorry to say that Phil and I have run out of time. But now you lovely people get to hear Ally preform. So bye everyone," Dan says to the audience and walking off stage waving and dragging a giggling, waving Phil with him. Fay follows while Ally gets ready.  
"Hey demigods and other YouTube fans," Ally calls to the audience. The audience erupts into the yelling/cheering from the beginning.  
"Okay so I've decided to do a song that I haven't done before for my channel, today," more cheering, "and a lot of you who watch my videos should know my favorite band by now, and this song has helped me a lot in my little pockets of anxiety along with other. So I hope a lot of you will be able to guess this one." As the crowd cheers Ally gives a signal to the stage hands.  
On the screen behind her, a video comes up. The video has four sections with Ally in all of them. The top left has a recording Ally and her mic at home. The top right is Ally and her drums. The bottom left is Ally with her trumpet. The last corner has Ally and her keyboard.  
The crowd explodes in cheers when the beginnings of the drums, trumpet, and back up vocals of "Hallelujah" by Panic! At The Disco start. Soon Ally starts sing and playing her guitar.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~Song ends~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"Thanks for listening guys and girls," Ally says breathlessly, "This was a lot of fun, and I'm so glad that Fay dragged my butt out of bed this morning." The last part made the audience chuckle. Ally waved as she exited the stage with a huge smile on her face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/AddelynneJae/  
> Board: its the title of this story...


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kayla wrote the first part of this. I finished it. -Bookworm

*After the random Q and A on stage*

"Hey, you're Ally's friend Fay right?" I hear someone ask me in a distinctly British voice behind me. Turning around I see that it was Dan. 

"Uh, yeah. And you're Dan from danisnotonfire right?" I say with a slight smile. Dan rubs the back of his neck while flicking his fringe out of his face. 

"Yeah, so Phil and I were talking and we were wondering if you and Ally would like to have lunch with us." He said while gesturing to Phil to come over to us. 

"Sure, I think it'd be good for Ally, because if you couldn't tell she's kinda shy." 

Phil glances to the stage and then back to me, "You're not going to ask Ally if she wants to first?" 

I shrug nonchalantly, "Nah, she'll want to go home and hide, but ya know she needs to get out every now and then." I smirked "Besides, what kind of best friend would I be if I ruined the chance for her to hang out with her two favorite YouTubers."

Dan opened his mouth to speak, when the crowd applauded and Ally came down the stairs backstage. 

"Hey Als" I say wrapping my arm around her shoulders, guess who just got us a lunch date with Dan and Phil?" 

"What? A date? Fay this isn't a good idea." Ally says whirling out of my arm to face me. 

"Well not a date exactly, more like four friends just hanging out and talking and eating together." I retort grabbing her and spinning her around, "Besides you just completely ignored those two cuties over there." I gesture to Dan and Phil.

Ally blushes, hard, "I didn't ignore them, you just distracted me before I could say anything." She argued back.

Dan and Phil walked over, "So where do you want to grab lunch?" Phil questions glancing at Ally every now and then. Ally shrugs looking down with a blush on her face. I roll my eyes and shrug, "We could just go to the food court and get some food there or we could go to Downtown Disney and grab some food there, maybe do some shopping." 

"Sure, why the hell not," Dan responds with a shrug.

"Oh of course you know that Downtown Disney is close by," Ally mumbles, shaking her head.

~_~_~To Downtown Disney and the four sitting down to eat!~_~_~  
**(Quick note that I'm switching this to third person now... Kayla started this chapter with first person -_-' -BookWorm) (Sorry Bookworm :-P -Kayla)**

The four sit down to eat at La Brea Bakery Cafe at Ally's request.

"So Ally..." Phil starts.  
"So Phil..." Ally states back with a slight tilt of her head- that has Phil noting that she looks quite adorable.  
"Well I wanted to know... What's your favorite animal?"  
"Oh well it's a wolf," Ally says with a bright smile at the mention of said animal.  
"Oh no. You started it," Fay says mocking disappointment, but with a smirk.  
"Did you know wolves live around six to eight years on average. And that gray wolves were hunted to almost extinction in forty-eight states of the US. They have forty-two teeth. Wolves also mate for life. Females have a gestation period of sixty-three day. They can have four to six pups in a litter..." Ally continues with random fact that she has memorized throughout the years. Phil nods along with a faint smile for how passionate Ally is getting for wolves.  
While Phil and Ally have their discussion on wolves, Fay starts talking to Dan.  
"Her rambling like this is quite rare" Fay says with a slight laugh, "though it's also rare for her to be this comfortable to be so talkative in public in general"  
"What do you mean?" Dan asks, confused.  
"Ally has social anxiety. And I'm basically her security blanket most of the time," Fay says glancing over to Ally briefly, "it hasn't been so bad recently, since she been taking meds regularly, but..."  
"You think somethings going to happen soon to change that?"  
"Yeah..." Fay sighs.  
"You two seem pretty close..." Dan starts off as their food arrives.  
"Yeah. We met when Ally was just starting out with her YouTube channel about three years ago. Ally was doing some music research in Australia and my parents force me to go with them to an opera. Ally accidentally walked into me during a break. My parents were being rich dicks about it. We both apologized- her walking into me, and my parents fucked up behavior. And we've been friends ever since," Fay explains as she eats, glancing over to make sure Ally is eating.  
"You, uh don't seem to like your parents very much..."  
"Their rich, snotty assholes who need to learn what it's like for the lower class," Ally cuts in before Fay can say anything. Dan and Phil look completely shocked and Fay starts to laugh.  
"Welp, shes not wrong 'bout that," Fay gets out as she's laughing.  
"You girls are weird..." Dan says in exasperation shaking his head, his brown hair flopping along with the movement.  
"Well you might as well tell them 'bout your gigantic family," Fay smirks.  
Ally rolls her eyes, "my family isn't that big..." Getting a look from Fay has her huff out an irritated breathe of air before continuing, "okay, I'm the oldest out of nine kids."  
"Nine!?" Dan and Phil excliam at about the same time in complete shock, Dan choking on his drink slightly.  
"Yup, nine. Three sisters and five brothers. Let just say I learned how to hold my own in a fight," Ally laughs at the last statement.  
"You said your mum made you go to college for literature and writing?" Phil asks.  
"Yeah, my parents were never into music and theater, so they didn't think I could make a career out of it. Mom had me go with what I did because I did a lot of creative writing in school, but she didn't understand that, one: it wasn't serious, it was just fun, silly things, and two: she wasn't supposed to know about it," Ally shrugs.  
"Fun, silly things my ass. It was fan-fiction wasn't it?" Fay mumbles under her breathe. Ally blushes at that comment.  
"What was that Fay?" Dan asks, having a feeling he knows what she said, but just to make sure.  
"Nothing! She said nothing," Ally rushes out, her blush growing brighter. Dan and Phil share a look before Phil smiles.  
"Well it definitely doesn't seem like nothing with how you're blushing, love," Phil says with his northern accent. This of course causes Ally to look at Phil like a deer caught in headlights with her face a bright red that is almost rivaling her hair. Fay looks over at Dan with a knowing look, before rolling her eyes and saying -more clearly this time, 'Fun, silly things my ass. With how much she's blushing, it was fan-fiction."  
"W-well I'm basically a hipster in the world of fan-fiction," Ally tries to recover. Phil starts to laugh, and Dan smiles.  
"What type of fan-fiction?" Dan asks.  
" _Doctor Who_ , and the original Sherlock Holmes books..." Ally sighs. A shocked look crosses the other three's faces. Ally starts to grow slightly uncomfortable with the looks and starts to eat so she doesn't start to babble nonsense.  
"Okay... Did not expect that answer..." Fay trails off. Ally swallows a bite of food before saying, "you know I watch _Doctor Who_ and _Sherlock_ on BBC."  
"Yeah, but I didn't know you were that addicted," Fay mumbles into her drink, "alright lets finish eating so we can look around a bit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pintrest: https://www.pinterest.com/AddelynneJae/  
> board is the title of this fic  
> Enjoy, comment, kudos, bookmark, subscribe and stuff.


	5. Chapter 4

Shopping went well, or as well as it can with Ally being around big groups of new people. But again it wasn't terrible. Anyway Ally ended up buying -reluctantly- a fifty's style dress that reminds her of tom baker's scarf (Fay and Phil had to convince her that she had the money to spend), Phil ended up with a new sweater, Dan ended up with a new pullover, and Fay ended up with random disney stuff before the arguing started.  
Fay and Dan started to argue about what store to go to next. Ally and Phil didn't really care, so they just let the two work it out. A few people then noticed Phil and went up to him and started talking to him about normal fan stuff. Ally kind of got pushed to the side until one of the girls noticed her.  
"Ohmigods! You're Ally from Fury's Music! Your singing is amazing! And it's so cool how you used Greek mythology for your channel!" The girl gushed. She didn't look more then sixteen or seventeen, with chocolate brown hair with red dip dyed tips and hazel eyes.  
Ally was speechless, well more that she was panicking silently about what she should respond with. A complete stranger was one of her fans, and they turned away from Phil, a YouTuber with so many more subscribers than her.  
"It's so amazing how strong you are despite your anxiety, and how you try to over come it everyday. I have a friend that listens to your music and vlogs whenever they're stressed."  
"T-thank you..." Ally finally chokes out.  
"Oh sorry, I'm Arethusa. Which is why I think the Greek mythology theme is cool," the girl says, "so how was Vidcon? Well, er I mean thats why you're in the area right...?"  
"I-it was okay... But it was stressful. Fay wouldn't let me go back to the hotel room to hide," Ally replies with a slight laugh at the end and pointing over to Fay, who is somehow still arguing with Dan.  
"So I guess you met Dan and Phil there?"  
"Yeah I went on stage with them before I preformed."  
"That's cool. So, I don't mean to be personal but, in one of your vlogs you said that you and Fay might be moving, right?" Arethusa asks nervously.  
Ally nods, "I was offered a record deal and its far way from where we live now, but I don't know if I'm going to take it."  
"You definitely should. I mean you're music is amazing, and it doesn't mean that you have to stop your YouTube channel. And you can finally sing your songs that you have wrote under your name and others can't steal them," Arethusa responds with conviction coloring her tone. Ally is just a deer in headlight -for the second time today, or is it the third?  
Anyway Ally is standing there and Fay and Dan finally stop arguing and notice the three fans around Phil and the one talking to Ally. Dan goes to intercept the fans around Phil and Fay goes over to Ally.  
"So we probably should help the boys beat the fans back with a stick," Fay says offhand while draping her arms around Ally's shoulders from behind. Ally nods and waves bye to Arethusa as Fay drags her away.  
"Alright shows over! We got stuff to do people!" Fay exclaims while waving her arms in a wide shooing gesture. Two out of the three left. The third how ever turned towards Fay with her hands on her hips. She looks to be twenty, the oldest of the group of fans.  
"Who do you think you are to tell us when we can leave?"  
"Me? I'm the bitch that's friends with the three YouTubers stand with us, and you and your friends are interrupting our shopping. So I suggest you leave with your tail between your legs," Fay shots back with every possible bit of sass she could muster.  
The girl looked surprised before looking around and smirking, "three YouTubers? Sorry but I only see two."  
"That's because your so ignorant, May," is said behind 'May.' Arethusa steps out from behind 'May.'  
"Sorry about my sister, Mabel. She just thinks she's royalty and people need to bow down to her," Arethusa apologizes with an eye roll towards her sister. Mabel scoffs before grabbing Arethusa's wrist and replies with, "whatever, come on Thusa we got to go any way."  
The two walk away and Fay breaks the silence with, "well this has been an interesting day!" As she clasps her hands together in front of her chest. There is an agreement from the other three.  
"Well I think we should be done for the day. Dan and I still have two more days of Vidcon left, and Ally probably would want to relax from all the stress of today," Phil says slightly awkward. Ally nods in agreement with a shy smile. The girls say fair well to the boys and make their way back to their hotel.  
"Hey Fay. I think I will take the record deal in London."


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decide to post this even though im still writing the next chapter. Couldn't wait- Bookworm

*A few months later after Vidcon (it's the first week of October now)*

"Ally, it's time to get up or else we will miss our plane." Fay says while pounding on her best friends door. To which she received no answer. Rolling her eyes Fay opened the door and strolled into the dark room. Letting her eyes adjust to the darkness Fay walked over to the window and opened the blinds. Walking over to Ally's bed she then proceeded to jump on Ally. 

"Wake. Up. Ally. Its. Time. To. Go." On this Fay ripped the bed cover off of Ally and proceeded to drag it out of the room.

"Fay give me back my blanket, our flight isn't until twelve in the afternoon. I want to sleep, I was up until 4 editing my newest video." Ally says giving Fay a tired glare. 

"Ally, sweetheart, it's eleven am. You have been asleep for almost 5 hours now, that's enough time for you to sleep, also we have to be to the airport and in the gate at least thirty minutes before the boarding time." Fay says looking around the room, "Well at least all your shit is packed and ready to go. Now come on and put your traveling clothes on and let's go."  
Groaning Ally got up and changed into her "this is my too tired to function sweatshirt" sweatshirt and her black Hufflepuff sweatpants and stumbled into the bathroom. Coming out, Ally grabbed her bags and moved them into the living room. There she found Fay on the phone and it looked like she was arguing.

"No , mum I am not coming home, why should I?...... Yes, I know you're my mother, but sometimes mother doesn't know best, and this is one of those moments. Now why did you call me because I know it's not because you wanted me back home........ WHAT, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO HELL TO THE FUCKING NO....... NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO GET MARRIED AT AGE TWENTY FUCKING FIVE....... I WILL NOT WATCH MY FUCKING LANGUAGE, GOD DAMN IT WOMAN..... I DON'T WANT TO, AND I WON'T. SO SCREW YOU AND DAD, AND WHOEVER YOU _THINK_ I AM BETROTHED TOO. GOOD DAY!!!!!!!" Fay said, well more like screamed, and hung up the phone. Sinking down onto the chair beside her, Fay covers her face with her hands and groans.  
"What was that all about Fay, and what do you mean 'betrothed', your parents didn't try to make you marry someone against your will did they?" Ally asked walking over to Fay and sitting beside her.  
Taking a deep breath Fay replied "Yeah, my mom had called wondering what I was up to and then sprung the news on me.... they're dumbasses if they think I'm going to follow through with this. And besides there has to be laws against this stuff. Ya know, you think they might care what I think about it, but no they're rich assholes who think that propriety and what you have is all that matters.... I hate my parents." Just then a car horn beeps outside, "Anyway that sounds like the taxi. You ready for life's big adventure?" Fay says jumping up and grabbing her bags.  
"Not really, no, I kinda just want to back to bed, but I've come this far and I can't back down now." Ally says getting up and grabbing her stuff as well. Rolling her eyes Fay takes the lead and starts down the stairs. Looking around the room, Ally smiles and then follows Fay closing the door behind her. 

**************************Time Skip to on the plane***************************

"I'm going to kill this kid..." Fay mumbles angrily. There's an eight year old boy kicking the back of her seat. The rest is self explanatory.  
"Just switch seat with me," Ally whispers for the third time, exasperated. Fay finally agrees and they switch seats. The kid continues to kick Ally's seat. Ally just puts her headphones back on and starts translating the song she's listening to into her composition book.  
At one point the kid kicks Ally's seat as she is writing down notes and her pen jerks across the page.  
"Son of a bitch..." Ally whispers. Fay looks up from her laptop to see the purple ink scraped across the page. Fay knows that Ally will do something about the kid now.  
"Excuse me, but can you stop kicking my seat?" Ally turns to ask the boy.  
"Why?" And he kicks the seat again.  
"Because I'm trying to write a song and when you kick my seat I can't write."  
"Well your song's going to suck anyway." Ally looks at the boy and decides to sing part of the song she was translating.  
" _It's hard too listen to a hard hard heart_  
Beating close to mine  
Pounding up against the stone and steel  
Walls that I won't climb  
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep  
You think that you're gonna drown  
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep  
With all this rain falling down

_Strange how hard it rains now_  
Rows and rows of big dark clouds  
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud  
Rain 

_Its hard to know when to give up the fight_  
Two things you want will just never be right  
Its never rained like it has tonight before  
Now I don't wanna beg you baby  
For something maybe you could never give  
I'm not looking for the rest of your life  
I just want another chance to live.”  
Everyone look at Ally in shock. Well Fay just looked really proud of her short, shy friend.  
After that Ally turned and sat back in her seat and put her headphones back on and turn her music up all the way up. The kid didn't kick her seat any more and everyone clapped. Of course Ally didn't hear it though with her headphones on full blast.  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~In London~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
Ally and Fay got checked into their hotel and decided to go to a café.  
"Hey Ally. Look who I found~" Fay stage whispers/sings to Ally, pointing over to a back corner of the café and goes in that direction.  
There in the corner is Dan and Phil, both sipping at a drink and a laptop between them, the screen facing Dan, Phil across from him. Ally looks around nervously as she follows Fay, trying to stop her.  
"Fay your going to make a-" Ally tries to say as Fay gets closer. Fay then swings her arm around Dans shoulders, startling him.  
"Well, well, well, _what a coincidence_ to see you boys here," Fay says putting emphasis on what a coincidence sarcastically. Dan is growing more and more uncomfortable with Fay touching his neck.  
"Fay... You should probably let Dan go..." Ally says awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. Fay rolls her eye and lets go, then turning to Phil she says sarcastically again, "Ally just couldn't stay away from you, Phil. So she made the decision that we should move to London," right before turning and heading to the counter to order for herself and Ally.  
Ally stands in front of their table, trying to stutter out a response along the lines of 'she's kidding' and 'moved for a job,' but all that came out was stutters, a bright red face, and Ally feeling like she can't breathe.  
Fay comes back with a chocolate chip muffin, a coffee, and a hot chocolate, sets them on the table and turns Ally to face her.  
"Ally, sweetheart, I was joking, being sarcastic, everything's fine. Why don't you sit and eat the muffin I got you, okay?" Ally nods and mechanically sits and eat the muffin.  
"What just... Happened?" Dan asks, quite confused. Fay sighs, sits next to Dan (across from Ally), opens the tab on her coffee, and answers, "my joking almost had Ally have a panic attack. She didn't know how to respond to make sure no one would react in a negative way, and knowing you two for a day in a more personal way than her being just a fan doesn't help. And this is how she usually acts right after," gesturing to Ally eating her muffin, face blank, glasses place on top of her head, and staring into space. Phil looks over to Ally, an unreadable expression across his face.  
"This... Autopilot she goes to is her way of blocking the world. I actually asked her what she thinks about during these periods. All she told me was that its not much. It worries me though. But she only trusts two people: me being one of them. The other is a family member of her's that I have met only once," Fay explains a bit more, taking a sip of coffee.  
"Wow that must be tough for her. So how come you two are here?" Dan asks. Ally finished her muffin and starts sipping at her hot chocolate.  
"Ally was offered a record deal here in London so she made the decision to go for it."  
"Where are you two staying?" Phil asks.  
"In a hotel for now. We're going to figure out if Ally is actually going to get the deal before we get a flat," Fay answers, checking a message on her phone quickly.  
Ally final comes back to the reality that is the conversation in the café, putting her glasses back on, and adjusting her fringe.  
"Welcome back to Earth, Als," Fay says with a bright smile.  
"Sorry about that," Ally says really quietly fiddling with her hot chocolate. Dan and Phil had to strain to hear her, Fay had to read her lips.  
"Don't apologize. We understand you have issues with people," Phil reassures, take a sip of his drink.  
Dan and Phil share a look before nodding to each other.  
"Why don't you stay with us?" Dan asks. Ally looks at the boys in shock. Fay raises an eyebrow.  
"Says the boys who live in a flat with two bedrooms. Four people living in that would be... Interesting, for a lack of words," Fay says.  
"Well we have the pullout couch in the office..." Phil trails off. Ally looks over to Fay with an unsure look.  
To live with Dan and Phil, Ally has to trust them. Yes she has a lot of reasons to trust them, including have watched their videos since she started watching Dan's videos in the very beginning of his YouTube career and then found Phil through Dan's videos but her brain is still telling her not to.  
That is part of Ally's social anxiety. With Ally's anxiety she tends to over think the situation -social situations- and she basically doesn't trust the world. Despite this Ally still want to make it in the world and tries every day, taking anti anxiety medication and dealing with the side effects and sometimes still has small panic attacks.  
Fay and Ally share a conversation in a look before Fay turns back to Dan and Phil.  
"We'll try it. If Ally's uncomfortable we're leaving," Fay says, a finality tone of voice a mother might use. Dan and Phil nod an agreement, understanding that Ally's comfort comes first in Fay's mind.  
After that a comfortable conversation flows between the four, Ally getting more comfortable with her surroundings with each minute


	7. Chapter 6

A couple days later Ally and Fay are settling down in Dan and Phil's flat. Well more specifically their office. Ally took the inside half of pullout couch with her galaxy comforter and chunky dark purple knit blanket. Fay rolled her eyes and set her Alice in Wonderland comforter on the outside half.

While Ally was plugging in both her and Fay's phone chargers, Fay was examining Dan and Phil's desktop.

"Fay leave their computer alone," Ally says with out looking up from her bag as she digs out her laptop, its charger, her super slow and stupid tablet, and her camera case.

"But Ally, I-"

"But nothing Fay. You ask them first about it," Ally says cutting off Fay and finally looking up to give her a scolding parent look. Fay sighs but concedes.

Ally shifts through her bag for her Hunger Games sweatpants and her Harry Potter and Doctor Who cross-over shirt and then changes into them quickly. She then grabs her phone, one of her composition books, sticker covered laptop and a pair of earbuds.

"Well I'm going to go claim a spot in the living room."

"It's called a lounge, you know," Fay calls after her as she leaves.

"Whatever!" Ally calls back up the stairs. In the "lounge" Ally finds Dan in his couch crease scrolling through his laptop. Ally plops down in the arm chair and turns on her laptop and logs in.

While the laptop is loading she plugs the headphones into it and checks over her phone. Soon Ally is scrolling through tumblr, deviantart, twitter, and facebook, all on separate tabs along with word up so she can type ideas for random things plus pandora so she can listen to music all the while.

Phil and Fay come in at some point, Fay carrying her tablet that has stickers all over it and a cup of green tea that she forces into Ally's hands and then plopping right next to Dan, Phil sitting on the opposite side of the couch turning on the T.V. And thats that for most of the day with the occasional getting up for food and the bathroom.

Its two thirty pm and Fay gets up and stretches and says, "well I should probably go to the store for cereal and stuff. Anyone want me to get anything specific?"

"Tea and ramen. You know the type of cereal I like," Ally answers without stopping or slowing her typing.

"More specific on the tea Ally, you know the drill," Fay sighs.

"Any thing I haven't tried yet, even black tea."

Fay raises her eyebrow at the last part since Ally may be a huge fan of tea but she doesn't like black tea.

"Alright fine. Boys? Anything?"

"Maltesers" is Dan's request.

"Im fine" is Phil's.

"Kay. Oh and boys? Watch Ally if she goes into the kitchen. Especially if she has a sharp object," Fay says as an afterthought at the lounge doorway. The boys look up at Fay with some major confusion and a bit -a lot if you look at Phil- of concern.

Then Fay is gone. The boys look at each other and then simultaneously look over to Ally, who is bopping her head along with the beat of her music and scrolling through something.

What could be the reason for Fay asking the boys to watch Ally when she has sharp objects? Well dear reader I can't tell you, as it gives away plot. But again there is a certain brown haired boy who has an idea of what the reason is and he hopes that it is never the reason.

All of a sudden Ally gets up from the arm chair and takes her mug with her out of the lounge. Dan and Phil share a panicked look before they both scramble to get off the couch to follow her.

In the kitchen Ally is putting a kettle of water on to boil and setting up her mug with a tea mixture.

"Whatcha doing Ally?" Dan asks. Ally looks over her shoulder and sees both Dan and Phil watching her carefully.

"Fay told the two of you to watch me when I'm in the kitchen, huh?" Both boys stare at Ally like a deer in headlights.

"It's fine. She has good reason to ask you," Ally reassures them but switches topics with, "oh and to answer your question, I'm making tea. pomegranate raspberry green tea to be exact."

Ally's turned around at this point and hops up to sit on the counter, a cheeky grin in place when Dan gave her a slight scowl for it. Dan sighs and shakes his head, exasperated and leaves to go back to his couch crease. Phil stood leaning against the counter across from the bespectacled red head.

"Twenty Questions?" Ally asks, the cheeky smile still in place. Phil smiles back and replies with an affirmative and gestures to Ally to start.

"Favorite color?"

"Blue. Your's?"

"Hm... Purple, dark purple not lavender. I hate lavender... And pale yellow... But besides the point. Um... Favorite tea?"

"Uh... I cant decide on that. Can you?"

"Of course I can."

"Oh what is it?” Phil asks tilting his head to the side just as the kettle whistle and Ally pours the water into her mug.

"Cant answer that. You already asked your question. Its my turn," Ally says the cheeky smile turning to a smirk in an instant. Phil fumbled for words, a blush forming on his face not realizing he asked a question. Ally hop off the counter and standing right in front of Phil.

"Are you _blushing_ Phil?" Ally asks, her smirk growing, and leaning closer to Phil despite the major height difference. Phil starts to stutter and his blush grows. All of a sudden Ally pulls away and turns to her steeping tea.

Phil is frozen to the spot. Ally Day, the girl with social anxiety just seemed to get passed it, even if it was for a short period of time. Phil knows he has a small crush on her but of course he can't overwhelm her or he would just push her away. Getting to know her and helping her any way her can will have to do for now.

From the living room a ring tone goes off, "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon specifically. Ally then races out of the kitchen to the living room to answer it. Phil slowly follows carrying Ally's mug and noticing what it says: "if it requires pants or a bra its not happening today" and looks to Dan when at the door way. Dan raises an eyebrow with a slight smirk. Phil responds with an eye roll.

"Okay. Yup. Thanks you too." Ally hangs up and turns to the boys, "my interview slash try out thing is at 3 next week on Wednesday."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Ally," Phil assures. Dan nods in a distracted way while scrolling over whatever.

"Thanks Phil. Hey if I remember correctly from VidCon you said that you did your research?" Ally asks walking towards him to grab her mug.

"I guess I did, didn't I?" Phil says rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Which can mean that you watched some of my videos," Ally states taking a sip of tea after sitting down in the armchair.

"Well I watched a few really quickly..." Phil says still sheepish. Ally just smiles and goes back to her laptop and headphones.

Phil sits back down on the couch and just marvels at how Ally has been today. Not nervous at all, actually she seemed joyful.

When Fay comes back from the store Ally is still typing away but the smile is still there. Fay stops for a second and stares at Ally before a smile spreads across her face. Ally's comfortable enough to smile.

"Hey I'm back and I put everything in the kitchen. Hey Ally, whatcha typing?" Fay says catching Dan and Phil's attention before saying Ally's name louder to be heard past her headphones. Ally looked up and around, eyes landing on Fay, Dan, and then Phil.

Taking off her headphones Ally give an unintelligent "huh?"

"I _said_ 'whatcha typing'" Fay replies laughing slightly.

"Oh. Im putting my music into my laptop now, before I was writing video ideas," Ally says with a shrug.

“New song or cover?” Fay asks

“New.” And with that Ally puts her headphones back on.

“Well, she's in a good mood!” Fay exclaims happy to Dan and Phil, and dropping Dan’s Maltesers into said boy’s laptop.

“Thank you,” Dan grumbles, glaring up at Fay for dropping them _on_ his lap _top_ not his _lap_. Fay just smirks, walks around to the empty spot on the couch next to Dan and plopped by and leaned over on him slightly to see his laptop screen.

Phil watches on curiously and notices Ally watching her best friend interact with his best friend out of the corner or her eye with the same curiosity. Such a short amount of time and Fay is already being coquette with Dan. Even though Ally suspects that her blonde friend doesn't realize it.

The rest of the day goes by lazily with typing, scrolling and the T.V. on as a slight background noise.

~~~~~~next day~~~~~

“What’s today?” Fay asks while she was getting dressed.

Ally looks up from her tablet briefly to answer with “the seventh I believe.”

“So it's Friday?”

“No dip, Sherlock.”

“I think you mean ‘no _shit_ , Sherlock.’”

“No I mean ‘no dip,’” Ally deadpans.

Fay looks at Ally suspiciously “did you take your medication?”

“It's down stairs in the kitchen.”

“Which totally means ‘no, I did not because I find it useless to move from this spot today.’ Come on, your taking your meds,” Fay sighs as she pulls Ally off the pullout couch/bed, Ally taking her chunky purple blanket with her.

Fay could tell today will be the opposite of yesterday, and yesterday was one of Ally's best days it seems. Hopefully there will be more to come like that though. Fay could only think of a certain black fringed YouTuber as a reason.

Downstairs Phil was turning the kettle on and setting out four mugs. He gave the two girls, one dressed and one in pjs, a sleepy smile when he noticed them.

“Tea or Coffee, girls?”

“Ally will take tea, coffee for me,” Fay answers as she opens the Friday tab on Ally’s pill box.

“What type of tea would you like Ally?” Phil asks getting Ally's tea jar out of the cupboard. Ally just gives a shrug when Phil looks over to her. Phil gives the ginger with bedhead a concerned look.

Fay holds out a glass of juice and her medicines to Ally. Ally gives Fay a look. Fay gives back her ‘no bullshit’ look that she had adopted for looking after Ally. Ally sighs and takes the medicines, there being three in all.

“Is everything alright?” Phil asks, terribly confused.

“Ally didn’t want to take her meds,” Fay answers simply, turning the kettle off after is starts whistle and pouring the water into the four mugs.

“Ally, your getting a random green tea,” Fay says while grabbing said random tea.

“Whatever,” Ally replies in a despondent voice just as Dan stumbles into the glass door sleepily.

“There’s a door there dumbass,” Fay sighs and opens the glass door. Dan grumbles in response and walks over to the last two mugs with coffee and picking one up and sipping from it.

While that happened Ally placed her mug, still full of tea, on the counter and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. She then flops onto the couch face first with the blanket rapped around her.

Back in the kitchen, Phil is still confused about what is wrong with Ally. This isn't social anxiety, that much is obvious. “She’s almost acting like Dan when he has a… Oh”

“Uh, Fay? Does Ally have, uh, depression?” Phil asks awkwardly and hesitantly. Fay sighs and picks up her mug and takes a gulp of coffee.

“Well she kind of does,” Fay answers back, holding back a full answer.

“How can you kind of have depression?” Dans asks, slightly more awake.

“Ally has a mild case of Bipolar Disorder,” Fay reluctantly answers.

“Ally’s Bipolar?” Phil asks, shocked.

“She _has_ Bipolar. A person isn't their disorder,” Fay corrects. Dan and Phil nod in understanding.

“Do the fans know of this?” Dan asks. Fay shakes her head in the negative.

“Where _is_ Ally?” Phil asks looking around the small kitchen. Fay's eyes widen as she looks around the room. 

“Oh fuck,” is Fay's only response before she goes to open the stupid glass door, misses the handle and runs into the door in haste.

“There's a door there dumbass,” Dan deadpans. Fay gives Dan the finger and a quick death glare before opening the door and slamming it, hoping it doesn't break.

Fay finds Ally in the living room curled up on the couch, cocooned in her blanket. Fay give a sigh of relief knowing Ally isn't doing anything harmful.

“That’s my couch crease,” Fay hears Dan grumbles quietly behind her.

“Well if you want to sit there, _you_ can move her. Just keep in mind that she likes to be comfy and not do anything,” Fay informs as she turns to leave the living room, “Im going upstairs. Keep an eye on her in case she does move to do something.”

“Don't worry Fay, I'll keep an eye on her. I'm probably just going to be on my laptop and watch T.V. all day anyway,” Phil assures as he walks in with his coffee and laptop.

“Kay, thanks.”

Dan goes back to his room, Phil settles on the floor at the coffee table, Fay's upstairs checking through the desktop, and Ally's on the couch thinking about nothing and everything, life and death, and if it's all worth it in the end.

It's about nine at night when Ally gets up from the couch and goes into the kitchen. In the kitchen she fills and turns on the kettle before she turns to the cupboard and pulls out an instant cup of ramen and sets it by the kettle. She then walks out of the kitchen and into the hall and looking up and down said hallway. Phil went to his room about a half hour ago and his door is closed. Dan’s been in his room most of the day, his door is open and his voice is carrying out to the hall. Fay’s upstairs doing whatever.

Ally goes back into the kitchen when she hears the kettle. Making her ramen Ally knows she doesn't want to be alone. Dan maybe her best bet. Grabbing her ramen she heads to the living room to grab her phone and blanket. She puts the phone in the pocket of her sweatpants and heads over to Dan's room, the blanket wrapped around her and ramen in hand.

She stands halfway in the doorway shyly, not sure how to get his attention. But the fans on Dan’s stream notified him of the person in his doorway. Looking back Dan sees Ally holding her ramen in front of her, kind of like a shield. Dan excuses his self from his stream for a moment and walks over to Ally.

Pushing her slightly so she isn't in view of the stream and asks “is everything alright?”

Ally shrugs before mumbling “I don’t want to be alone.”

Dan nods and answers back “would you like to sit on my bed? You can be on your phone or whatever. Im just going to be talking to my stream.” Ally nods in response and follows Dan into his room, waving at the stream briefly and siting on Dan's bed and eating her ramen.

Dan sits back down in front of his stream and re-welcoming himself, “hey guys, I’m back. So Ally's just going to hang out here but we can talk like normal and whatnot…”

The rest of the night passes by uneventfully and Ally trusts Dan more then before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chapter!  
> So the next should be up two weeks from today which is the 5th of May. I say should because I have a slight writers block...
> 
> Also the whole "she has bipolar. A person isn't their disorder" thing is something I fiercely believe in. So keep that in mind in the real world, please and thank you.  
> ~BookWorm


	8. Chapter 7

Ally's mood definitely improved the next day. Well until Ally went through her messages from fans that morning. All throughout her Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube were messages and comments all about Ally. Most were talking about her social anxiety and YouTube channel, but then she found the first of the hate, the things that plagued all of her childhood.

The claims that Ally's anxiety is fake. That she's just trying to get attention. That she should just quit YouTube if she really does have anxiety. And so on and so forth.

Ally looks up from her laptop at the three people that have accepted her through all her problems. And with that Ally posts one tweet and one post on Tumblr, each reading the same:

_**“You want me off YouTube, then you have your wish. I’m done. No Youtube, no Twitter, no Tumblr. No more connection with the world that calls me a liar.”** _

And with that Ally logs off all her social media and closes her laptop. Phil looks up as Ally gets up with her empty mug.

Coming back into the living room with out a mug she curls back up in her chair sideways facing the window

Fay looks up from her phone where she's sitting, which is on the couch leaning on Dan, and notices that Ally is staring out the window, face very downcast, when she gets the notification that Ally has posted a tweet. Taping on the notification, Twitter opens and takes her to Ally's tweet. While reading it Fay notices the responses that the tweet is getting, some are good responses like the ones telling Ally to not give up on YouTube from her more loyal fans, but most are bad, with some going as far as calling the small red head an attention seeking whore. Turning off Twitter Fay gets up and goes over to Ally, kneeling down in front her friend she embraces her into a tight hug. Pulling back Fay notices that Phil is looking conspicuously over at Ally with a concerned look. Standing up Fay goes to Phil and grabs his lap top and put its on a table, going back over to the confused blue eyed boy Fay grabs his hand and leads him over to Ally.

"Just hold her Phil, I have something to attend to and she needs someone with her. Also if you can distract her." Fay whispers into Phil's ear and then walks towards Dan after Phil nods and hugs Ally. Leaning down Fay whispers into Dans ear;

"Check her Twitter, and YouTube comments." Was all she said after seeing his confused face.

Leaving the room Fay goes to the staircase that leads to the office and climbs it planning carefully what she's going to say to the Internet when she got onto the computer.

 

After settling in front of Dan and Phil's computer, Fay found their video making program and opened it up. Getting her thoughts in line Fay starts filming.

"Dear Internet,

My name is Fay, I am Ally’s _best friend_. And I'm here tell all of you _idiots_ calling Ally a _liar_ and an _attention seeking whore_ that you're wrong. Ally has a serious case of social anxiety _and_ a mild case of Bipolar Disorder that she hasn't told you guys about. Ally takes three different types fucking medication, one for her anxiety, two for her BD. _I_ pay for all three because Ally is basically poor. Then to add to the mental disorders there is the abuse Ally had to deal with from her bitch ass mother and the disappointment from her even more of a bitch ass father through out her childhood. Then lets factor in Ally having eight siblings, one being her twin who happens to be trans girl. Then lets factor in that only _four_ of then talk to her and _one_ if them was just recently. The other four? Well one absolutely hates her, one of them follows the one I just mentioned blindly, and the other two are too focused on either video games or sports to even _try_ to talk to Ally. Oh and then we can factor the bullying that Ally endured from school. Then after graduating Ally got forced to go to a college she _didn't want to go to_ and study for a subject that she also _didn't want to do_. If Ally had a choice then she would be in college for get her doctorate in psychology so she can help people. So to still help people she created a YouTube channel, this YouTube channel to help people. She _knew_ that people found comfort and support from YouTubers and music because she used to be and still is one of those people that watch YouTuber so she knows she not alone. Listen to emo songs that make her feel like her feelings were understood. Dan and Phil, they are the main ones she watched, still watches in fact. She religiously listens to artists like Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy today. And now. And now she's trying to help you, her followers, her subscribers, _her demigods_. And now she's hurt and all you do is dig the knife deeper and deeper. How long ‘til Ally quits forever because she can't handle the _hate and disrespect_ from the fans she cares so much for? Hm? I'll leave you at that. Bye.”

Saving the video , Fay edits and changes some things in the video where she was seething, wasn't able to get the words out and censors her swearing for Ally's sake, then uploads the video. Turning off the computer Fay goes and lays on her side of the futon and goes to sleep.

Back in the living room Dan is reading comment after comment and tweet after tweet about Ally, most being negative. Looking back up at the girl in his best friend's arms Dan feels sorry for her. All she wants to do is play her music and live her life and in return she gets pain.

In the arm chair Ally is sitting across Phil’s lap cuddled into his chest her head under his chin, Phil holding Ally, whispering to her anything he can remember from the U.S. tour that was funny. Every once and a while Phil shoots a questioning glance to Dan who just shakes his head to tell him later. Soon Ally worries herself to sleep.

“Dan? What's going on?” Phil asks quietly.

“People are being ugly on the inside. There's a lot of hate comments on Ally’s videos and tweets, mostly about her anxiety,” Dan quietly answers back. Phil makes a face in response, and Dan silently agrees.

“You're going to help her, yeah?” Dan asks. Phil nods in response, resting his head on top of Ally's.

“I'm going to lay her down in my room,” Phil tells Dan while shifting to carry Ally bridal style. Dan nods as Phil leave the room with Ally.

Coming back to the living room after tucking Ally into his own bed Phil sits by Dan to see the comments and tweets.

“This… This is not good,” Phil says.

Dan nods and replies with, “yeah and then there's the tweet Ally posted this morning in response to everything,” showing Phil the tweet.

“Well she's fighting back,” is Phil’s response to the tweet. Dan agrees.

“Today's Saturday, right?” Phil asks offhand.

“Yeah, you planning something?” Dan answers, scrolling through Tumblr.

“Going to take Ally to breakfast,” Phil smiles.

Around noon Fay woke up and stumbled downstairs to the living room, phone in hand, to find Phil scrolling through Netflix on the T.V. and Dan scrolling through tumblr.

Plopping down in her usual spot leaning on Dan she asks, “where's Ally?”

“My room. She fell asleep and taking her upstairs would be a bit much,” Phil answers, scrolling through the anime section.

“Ah, kay. That’s a good anime, or so Ally tells me,” Fay replies pointing out _The Seven Deadly Sins_ , an anime about magical knights.

“I'll try it,” is Phil's only response before click the first episode.

About an hour later Ally stumbles out of Phil's room, trips, and catches herself on the wall.

“Why was I in Phil's room,” Ally mumbles, rubbing the sleep out of her eye.

“You fell asleep on me and I thought it would be easier to put you in my room then to carry you up stairs,” Phil answers as he pauses the anime.

“By the sound of you tripping in the hall, it probably was the best option,” Fay jokes.

Ally rolls her eyes and goes to sit on the couch and curls up next to Phil. Phil give Ally a quick glance and smiles to himself as he unpauses the anime.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lot of info. Any questions, please ask in comment section.

Dan ordered take out that night. Eating Chinese food around the coffee table gave Ally an idea. Telling everyone she will be right back she puts her food down and runs out the living room and everyone can hear the thumping of her feet hitting the stairs. Two minutes later Ally comes back with a deck of uno in her hand.

“Really?” Fay smiles. Ally just drops the deck box on to the table, satisfying Ally with the thump sound they made, and smiles widely in response.

Soon enough the day is ended with a few games of uno, Chinese food, and a question of going to breakfast in the morning.

The next morning Ally is up and trying to find clothes to wear and Fay is mumbling for Ally to be quieter because she's “trying to sleeeeeeep.”

Ally finally decided to wear her dress she got in Disney that summer after VidCon, a pair of thick black tights, a black cardigan, and a pair of red Chuck Taylor’s. After grabbing her phone, headphones, and wallet and putting them in the pockets of her dress – pockets! In a dress! Best thing ever! - she met Phil downstairs at the front door.

The trip to the diner was pleasantly spent in a cab with the game of twenty questions being continued. Once there they are shown to a table fairly quick and start to looking at the menu.

The diner was small, it being a city and all, but it was nice and comfortable. There was an older couple sitting at the table next to them and a family of four across the dining floor. 

After ordering drinks and the waitress leaves, conversation picks back up.

“What's your family like? I mean if you want to tell me?” Phil asks, slightly nervous.

“It's fine. My mom doesn't believe that I have mental problems. She thinks I’m faking it for attention, but I don’t want attention. To be honest that’s why I don’t have self harm scars that are visible when wearing normal clothes,” Ally shrugs.

“That’s why Fay wants at least one person to know where you are at all time and why she asked Dan and I to keep an eye on you in the kitchen?”

Ally nods. “Yeah, along with my past suicide attempts.” Phil give Ally a shocked and concerned look before Ally continues. “Three between being fourteen and sixteen years old and one when I was twenty-one. I'm twenty-four now, twenty-five in December.”

“So it hasn't happened in a few years then,” Phil states. Ally nods.

All of a sudden Ally's phone started ringing. As Ally picks up her phone the older couple next to then give a disapproving look before they see Ally dismiss the call with out checking who it was and putting her phone face down on the table.

Phil gives a questioning look and Ally answers the unspoken question, “I don’t need to talk to someone when I have someone right in front of me to talk to,” with a bright smile. The waitress comes back with their drinks, and takes their orders before the conversation can continue again.

“Okay what about your siblings? You said before you have eight, right?” Phill asks after taking a sip of coffee.

“Yeah. Im the oldest at twenty-four, closely followed by my twin sister Phoebe by like seven minutes, I call her PJ. Next is my brother Orion who is twenty-three, my brother Ajax who is twenty-two, my sister Kalypso who is twenty, and my brother Erebos who is nineteen. They all are out of the house. The last three are still in school. Zephyr at seventeen, Artemis at fifteen, and Daedalus at thirteen. I call Artemis, Artie and Daedalus is Dee,” Ally explains, “my parents names are Circe and Narcissus. They wanted all their children to have Greek names like them.” 

“What's your relationship like with your siblings?” Phil asks, general curiosity plain on his face.

“Well PJ and I have a great relationship. PJ is actually a trans girl. Her name was Phoebus, but she didn’t feel right being a boy at about eleven and I suggested calling her Phoebe and using female pronouns and it solved the problem, I guess,” Ally shrugs before continuing on.

“Orion used to follow me around as soon as he could move. Orion and PJ are my biggest supporters in my family. Dee is the next biggest. He and I also have a good relationship. Artie though, she used to hate me. She thought something was wrong with me, well, that is ‘til she saw Mother slap me across the face when I was about fifteen, that was shortly after I got out of the hospital because of a suicide attempt. Ever since then she realized Mother had something wrong with her. Erebos is too focused on video games to even get to know me and Zephyr is focused on sports. Ajax completely hates me and forces Kalypso to follow him around. To sum everything up, my family is a train wreck.”

Phil just looks at the red head in front of him in shock. She's been through a lot more then what people think.

After that their food arrives and the two YouTubers start swapping funny stories of their siblings.

Mean while with Dan and Fay

“Ugggggghhhhhhh I'm bored” Fay groans as she and Dan watch an anime they had both already watch a billion times. Dan looks over at her and smirks, pausing the show he turns to Fay. 

“Then what do you suppose we do while Phil and Ally are out on their breakfast date?” Dan inquires. 

“I don't know, I've been meaning to make a YouTube channel for a while now, you could help me make one.” Fay prompts, half jokingly.   
“Why not, what were you thinking as a first video and channel name?” Dan says nonchalantly. 

“Well for a name I was thinking something like Faybulous, or Fabulous Fairies because my name is based off that concept, and for a first video I don't know, but I'm kinda hungry.” Fay muses sitting cross legged in front of Dan. 

“Hey how about a cooking video, that might get people's attention. Now what to make…” Dan trails off thinking about recipes. 

Mulling the idea over in her head Fay come to the decision that it sounds like a good idea. 

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. And how about pancakes considering it’s still about breakfast time. And considering how all we've both eaten today is junk food, real food might be about good thing.” Fay says getting up and grabbing Dan's laptop. 

“Oi! That's my laptop get your own.” Dan exclaims, chasing Fay out the door as she runs to the kitchen to look up recipes; laughing the whole way. 

“Mmmmm, rather not, and besides mines all the way upstairs and yours is closer.” Fay calls back to him as she entered the kitchen. Rolling his eyes in exasperation Dan walked into the kitchen and sat at the bar.

“So what have you found to use as a recipe” Dan asked looking over her shoulder. 

“A recipe from one Delia Smith.” Fay replies smirking, already knowing Dan’s reaction.

“Yes,” Dan states, face blank and serious. Fay nods, smirking and runs up stairs to grab Ally’s video camera and one of her tripods.

Back with Ally and Phil

“No I can pay for myself Phil,” Ally says trying to grab the check once again and failing.

“No this is my treat to you. Besides you payed enough with giving me your company,” Phil smiles, finally passing the check and money to the waitress.

Ally rolls her eyes, crosses her arms, and huffs, but her pout quickly turns into a smile.

“Whatever, lets go and see what Dan and Fay have gotten up to. I have a feeling something happened,” Ally says, standing up. Phil helps her into her cardigan after standing up himself.

The ride back to the apartment (or flat if your British) seemed pretty short to the duo. Once inside they could hear yelling from upstairs. Sharing a quick look Ally heads up the stairs, Phil following close behind.

“ _What the fuck happened_?” Ally exclaims in the door way of the kitchen. Dan and Fay both freeze at Ally swearing. The blonde and brunet are _covered_ in flour. Actually the _whole kitchen_ is covered in flour. Fay is the first to unfreeze.

“Hey Ally… How was… Your date…? Im going to go take a shower….” Fay drags out before she tries to rush out the door to the shower. But the keyword here is tries due to the fact that Ally grabs Fay by her shirt sleeve. “Fuck…”

“You and Dan are going to clean this kitchen and when I come back to check on you two you better be cleaning and not bickering or _so help me God_. Oh and you might want to turn off _my_ camera,” Ally fumes, letting go of Fay and pushing her back into the kitchen.

Phil back away from Ally when he heard her swear. God Ally can be scary when she's angry. Ally huffs as she turns from the kitchen door and heads for the stairs to the office.

She soon comes back down and enters the living room with her laptop. Phil's on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table, laptop on lap. Ally joins him, leaning against him with her feet up on the couch.

About five minutes later Ally gets up to check on the progress the two “bakers” in their expedition of cleaning. Ally enters to see that nothing was done both the flour being brushed off clothes. They're bickering. About who cleans what.

“ _What did I fucking say, ladies?_ ” Ally asks, voice calm but accented to tell how angry she is.

Fay and Dan jump in surprise before Dan starts sputtering about not being a girl.

“Shower.” Ally points to the direction of the bathroom. The blonde and brunet rush out of the kitchen to get to the shower first. Ally goes back to the living room and grabs her phone off the coffee table with her headphones and heads back to the kitchen, plugging in her headphones to her phone and into her ears on her way.

Phil walks into the kitchen to see how cleaning is going to find Ally sweeping the floor of flour, humming along with her music. Ally spots him and the doorway, smirks, and starts to sing the song aloud.

The song is “Hey Brother” by Avicii, and it makes Phil smile. Ally may not have a good relationship with a lot of her family but she cares, she cares a lot.

“What happened to the two troublemakers cleaning up the kitchen?” Phil asks, voice raised so the ginger can hear him, smile still in place.

“They started bickering about who cleans what. They're downstairs taking a shower, or fighting over the shower.” Ally takes her headphones out.

“Then I should probably go check on them,” Phil snorts.

Ally laughs out a “probably” as Phil leave to check on said duo, shaking his head in exasperation.

When Phil came back up he was laughing along the way. Ally gave him a questioning glance.

“Fay got there first; Dan is just sitting outside the door to make sure he doesn't spread flour on the carpet,” Phil answers, grabbing the dust pan to hold for Ally.

“Yeah that’s sounds about right. Thanks,” Ally laughs as she sweeps flour into the dust pan.

When Fay comes back into the kitchen, clean and dressed, Ally and Phil got the kitchen all cleaned up.

“Sorry Als, I know how you feel about mess. We should have just cleaned it up,” Fay apologizes, looking extremely guilty.

“It's fine, I just need to stop being a neat freak,” Ally waves off.

“Your not a freak Als,” Fay says, making Ally freeze for a sec. “You clean because you can control it. It's a form of control you can have in your life when you can't control your anxiety and your mood swings. And that’s fine. Cleaning is a good option to go to. You could have done dangerous stuff to give yourself control but you didn’t. You went to cleaning and YouTube and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Ally just smiles and walks over to give Fay a tight hug, because she's right, of course she's right


	10. Chapter 9

Her green eyes sparkled with mischief as she grabbed her violin from the closest the boys told her she could store it in. Going back up stairs Ally finds Dan and Fay in their usual spot on the couch, scrolling on Dan's laptop, Phil on the armchair with his laptop.

Hey I'm going to go upstairs and practice a bit.” Ally gestures to her violin in its dark blue case covered in random stickers. The response she gets is varying degrees of noises to represent “’Kay have fun.”

Upstairs Ally goes to play her violin, yet little did her three friends know is that she's going to record it to edit later, but not post, since Ally knows that there are people still spreading hate.

Once she's gone Fay takes over Dan's laptop and logs in to her fake fan account on Twitter. Dan watches as Fay looks over the trending tweets and hashtags. Dan takes back the laptop and puts Ally’s username into the search bar, knowing exactly what the blonde basically laying on him is trying to find.

What comes up both angers and shocks the two on the couch. So many people who believe Ally to be a liar are now saying how manipulative she is for making Fay believe her lies.

“Son of a bitch! Why is it that Ally can't seem to be happy?! Why do people make it worse for her? She's the sweetest person I have ever met and the world seems to hate her for it!” Fay's anger decides to burst at the seams at that moment.

As a pregnant silence falls down across the living room Ally's violin can be heard, playing “Build God, Then We'll Talk” by Panic! At The Disco. Fay smiles at the beautiful sound while the boys listen in awe. The music being played so smoothly that you can tell that Ally puts her heart, mind, soul, and emotions into the music she plays.

“Huh, just as usual it's Ally that calms me.” Fay shakes her head in amusement.

“She _is_ a gift to the world.” Dan smiles faintly at the thought that he spoke aloud.

A few days later brings Ally to the recording room for her interview. The only thing showing her nerves is the bouncing up and down of her leg that she picked up from Fay and her A.D.D.

“So Miss. Day do mind telling us about the lies you've been called out on about on Twitter?” was asked out of the blue, about halfway through the interview, which until now was going quite well.

 

“Excuse me?” Ally asks, eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. Then it hits her. Her mental disorders.

“Wait you mean all the people claiming that I'm a liar. I _do_ have mental disorders. I take medication for both disorders _daily_ ,” Ally explains, hoping that this person in front of her believes her.

“Im sorry Miss. Day but your mental disorders - real or not – are a liability to the company. We can not have a contract with you. Good day Miss. Day,” the man explains dismissively.

For Ally, the time between leaving and getting home was a blur, running on autopilot. They expressed how good she was. How her music was captivating. She uprooted her life in America to get that contract. But yet again her mental disorders held her back. Just. Like. Always. 

Opening and closing the front door, Ally set down her violin case and her guitar case and slipped off her converse before she started trudging up the stairs. Eyes blank of emotion she looked around to see where everyone was. Phil was nowhere to be seen and Dan and Fay are watching an anime.

“Where's Phil? Ally asks in the doorway to the living room. Even to her own ears Ally can tell her voice is completely off. The two occupants jump before staring at the redhead for a moment.

“In his room,” Dan replies still trying to tell what was wrong. Ally just turns and walks down the hall. Soon a know can be heard before a door is opened and then soon closed.

Dan and Fay share a worried look before Dan reassures that she'll be fine with Phil.

Back to Ally at Phil's door. When Phil opens his door he can tell something's wrong.

“They told me that I'm a liability,” Ally whisper, head down, facing the floor. Phil just pulls her to his chest. Shortly after Phil brought Ally into his room.

“They're wrong, love,” Phil states as he holds Ally.

“About?”

“You being a liability. You're not. What you are is strong. You fight everyday to be around people. Just know that you don't need to do it alone,” Phil explains, holding Ally a bit tighter.

“I know. I have you, Fay, and Dan,” Ally mumbles into Phil's chest.

The two were, at this point, cuddling on Phil's bed and watching anime on his laptop.

“I like it when you call me ‘love.’ Is that weird?” Ally mumbles, her head resting on Phil's chest, just under his chin.

Phil just chuckles and kisses the top of her head, before answering. “No, not at all. I'll keep calling you that if you like.” Ally just nods before focusing on the anime again.

When Ally falls asleep, Phil goes out to the living room in search of the other to occupants.

“She okay?” Fay asks as soon as Phil enters her peripheral.

“They told her that she was a liability because of her mental disorders,” Phil sighs, sitting in the armchair.

“They _what!?_ ” Fay exclaims in disbelief. Dan just looks at Phil in shock.

“What makes it worse is she told me yesterday that they saw some of her covers and they thought that she could be the next big thing in music. That her voice was captivating. Which it _is_ ,” Phil says, head in his hands with his elbows resting on his thighs.

“That's probably why she's upset. Being told that they want her, and that she’s really good, then all of a sudden to be told she is a liability and that they don’t want her,” Dan sighs. Fay and Phil nod in agreement.

“Where is she now?” Fay asks.

“Sleeping in my room,” Phil answers.

“Phil. You hurt her, I'll kill you. No hesitation on my part,” Fay states, going back to her laptop - actually her's for once.

A chill runs down Phil's spine before he answers, “understood.”

“I'm going to make dinner,” Ally calls towards the living room after waking up and leaving Phil's room. Phil comes out of the living room and follows Ally to the kitchen.

“What are you making?”

“More like what are _we_ making. I'm not going to trust myself with a knife right now. Anyway I'm thinking chicken parm since _this_ is in the fridge,” Ally says and pulls out a pack of chicken.

“I don’t know if I'll cut the chicken right…” Phil says unsure.

“I'll guide you. Don't worry.”

Soon enough Phil has cutting the chicken down and Ally is breading them and putting them in a baking dish.

 

“This is really good Ally,” Dan praises.

“Thanks, it’s a family recipe. The trick is using panko crumbs instead of a normal bread crumbs,” Ally answers with a smile. **

“Ally is an amazing cook. Her cookies are good too,” Fay informs and slightly hints to Ally.

“Okay, okay, I'll make cookies soon,” Ally laughs.

 

Ally wakes up with a silent scream. Shakily checking her phone for the time and finding its 2:56 a.m.

Carefully moving off the pullout trying to not wake Fay, she grabs her glasses, knit blanket, and her phone and goes downstairs.

Phil sleepily opens his door to find Ally with her glasses messily thrown onto her face, her knit blanket wrapped around her, and her phone clutched into one hand. What Phil noticed then was the tears rolling down her face.

“Aw Ally… What's wrong, love?” Phil asks, holding Ally’s face gently and wiping the tears off her face with his thumbs. Ally just flings herself to Phil's bare chest and holding onto him tightly.

“Nightmare?” Ally nods. Phil leads Ally into his room and lets her put her blanket over his checkered comforter.

Soon enough the anxiety ridden girl is calmed and asleep, cuddled into Phil, and Phil finally falls asleep with his arms wrapped around her.

The next morning Dan and Fay found the dark haired boy and the redheaded girl asleep together. Ally ended up sprawled across Phil on her stomach with her head on his chest and left arm wrapped around him. Phil ended up with his right arm around Ally and hand in her hair.

Fay then preceded to take pictures of the two.

“I wanted Phil to make coffee…” Dan complains quietly.

Let them sleep. Ally probably had a nightmare. She didn't wake me so she probably sought Phil out. Besides I don't think Ally is going to leave the bed today. Come on I'll make coffee,” Fay says walking to the kitchen.

“What makes you say that?” Dan asks, following Fay.

“The record company made Ally feel like shit and then a nightmare – most likely about her horrible mother. Soon the anxiety builds up and Ally can't even function.” Fay turns on the kettle.

“It can get that bad?” Dan grabs four mugs, putting in a packet of tea in one.

“Yeah, when she was still in college she apparently barely got her degree because of her anxiety and missing classes. I guess you can say it was similar to how you felt about taking law and how it stressed you out. A major difference is that you dropped and chased your happiness. Ally couldn't do that. She had her mother calling everyday - despite the time zone difference – checking to see how her grades were; forcing her to do her best in something she couldn’t put her heart into like she can with her music.” Fay grabs the coffee out of the cupboard.

“That's horrible. You said different time zones?” Dan asks now leaning against the counter.

“Ally grew up in a small town in Texas called Round Top. She then was sent to Cornell - which is in New York - when it was still considered a really good school,” Fay supplies. Dan nods in understanding.

Phil ends up coming into the kitchen as the kettle whistles and Fay is pouring it into the mugs.

“Ally wants tea, but doesn't want to leave the bed,” Phil mumbles as he rubs the sleep from his eye.

“Figured.” Fay hands Phil his mug of coffee and Ally's mug of tea. “Keep the door open so Dan and I can check on her without having to go into the room. It calms her if she knows we are giving her space and she might only trust you to be in the room with her.

Phil nods and heads back to his room with the mugs.

Throughout the day Dan and Fay walked by Phil's room to check on Ally. Phil cuddled Ally when ever she allowed it. When ever she didn't she would curl up in a ball under the blankets.

Phil stayed in the bed with his laptop and playing anime. Ally would pop her head up every once and awhile to watch.

“Phil?” Fay asks, making sure to be quiet seeing that Ally is curled under the blankets with her pillow that Dan brought down for her.

“Yeah?” Equally as quiet.

“Dan ordered pizza,” Fay says.

“Cool, let me know when its here.”

“Will do.” Fay waves as she leaves.

Phil left Ally sleeping when the pizza arrived. Leaving a few slices for Ally - hoping that Ally will eat something - the three eat and chat.

“That video that I posted on Ally's channel is taking some heat in the comments’ section,” Fay says offhandedly.

“What kind of heat?” Dan sighs out.

“Arguing. Some believe me, some don't. It's Ally’s most commented video with her “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” remake music video following behind with a lot of space in between,” Fay explains.

“She sang that?” Phil asks.

“Yeah it was her first video. She got permission from the band to post it. She does that with every song she posts. She refuses to get caught up with copyright stuff,” Fay answers.

Ally then pads in and grabs a slice of pizza.

“You feeling better, love?” Phil asks as Ally takes a bite. She answers in a nod before swallowing.

“Yeah my anxiety just hit full force. Someone needs to make sure I take my meds tomorrow. Thanks for my pillow by the way, Dan.”

“It's no problem and one of us will, don't worry about it,” Dan answers waving Ally off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** this is true. Try panko bread crumbs


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry, I had to take another 2 weeks to write this 1. It wasn't flowing correctly and I felt that it needed to be longer and then writer's block. But here it is! With a lot of info...  
> ENJOY

“Hey Ally? Can I talk to you?” Dan asks, gesturing said girl out of the kitchen after she took her medication.

Once in Dan's room, Ally gave the brunet a questioning glance.

“I wanted to know if you would film a video with me? It won't be posted ‘til you say so,” Dan asks then rushes out the last part at the look she gives him.

“I'll… Have to… Think about it…” Ally says slowly and unsure.

“That's fine. Take your time,” Dan rushes out awkwardly trying to sound laid back about it before leaving, back to the living room and bumping into Fay as she exits the said room.

Seeing Ally in Dan's doorway, Fay asks, “what happened? Dan seemed like the devil was at his heels.”

“He asked me if I wanted to do a collab,” Ally mumbles.

Walking up to Ally, Fay clasps the redhead’s shoulder with one hand. “Do it. I know you don't want to do anything with YouTube but if you stop the haters win. And it'll be a sad, sad day when Alekto Day let's people tell her that all she is, is her anxiety and that she is her bipolar disorder. They don't make you. _You_ make you.”

Ally contemplates that for a second before smiling, nodding and heading back to the kitchen for her tea.

Lunch time rolls around and the four are eating grilled cheese and tomato soup that Fay made.

“Dan? I think it's a good idea,” Ally states before going back to dipping her grilled cheese into her soup. Dan just stares at her in confusion before realization dawned on him and he smiled brightly. 

After lunch Ally and Dan are in Dan's room planning the video.

Sometime after dinner Ally locked herself in the office telling her three friends not to bother her. That nothing bad was happening.

Ally sets up the office so she can sit in the newer of the office chairs and face the direction of the door where her camera is placed on its tripod.

After turning on the camera Ally sits in the office chair and just stares at the camera for a while. The camera that Fay bought her when she turned twenty-two. Ally has placed small stickers all over it to hide the scratches from being dropped over the years. The lens have been replaced several times from scratches and cracks too but Ally refuses to get a new camera for sentimental reasons. The first camera Ally bought was the cheapest one she could get and had bad quality. This one is better. It's not the best and Ally never wanted the best but it gets the job done and Ally wouldn't have it any other way.

After taking a deep calming breath Ally starts her talk to her demigods.

“I probably freaked a lot of you out with my tweet and sticking to it for a while. Well almost a week, seeing that it's the fourteenth of October and I posted the tweet the eighth I believe. I also am not sure when this will be posted.

“Anyway I'm here now and I realized that I'm here to stay. Fay reminded me of somethings. The first being that if I stay off YouTube and whatnot the haters win. The second is that my anxiety and bipolar disorder _do not_ make me who _I_ am. _I_ make me who I am. And no one can tell me who I am because of certain aspect of myself. So demigods the lesson here is the _you_ make _yourself_. Not anyone else. Not friends. Not family. Not anyone. But _you_.

“I will also stress that if you know someone who has some sort of mental disorder, ask them about it or even do some research. They may talk about it, they may not. Either way; be there for them. The only reason I'm still with y’all today is because Fay decided to stick with me and saved me from a suicide attempt when I was twenty-one. I'll be twenty-five soon, believe it or not. So stick with people. Make them feel loved. If not bad things can ensue.

“There's another thing I wanted to tell you. I realized recently after a nightmare that no one knows the extent of my abuse from my mother when I was a kid.

“Yeah most people know that I was talked down to. That I was forced to a college and into a subject I didn't want. But you don't know about the words said to me that much. Or the physical side of it. Or the threat I left my mom before I moved away from my family.

“To start it off, my mom claimed that my disorders are fake. That I convinced my doctor that I have these disorders. In retaliation my mom calls me an attention whore and such. My mom tells me that I'll never amount to anything. That my life means nothing in this world.

“All the while my dad just gives me looks of disappointment and doesn't talk to me unless absolutely necessary. Along with blaming me for being poor because of the cost of my meds.

“I also had to have my twin sister PJ claim that some of my things were her's so my mom wouldn't break them on me. Some of those things included my electric guitar that I got at fourteen after PJ and I saved all the money we could for three years of yard work and babysitting for neighbors, and my violin that I got a year later from my brother Orion who saved for it for five years.

“The physical abuse… *sigh* *deep breath to calm down* Mother pushed me down a flight of stairs when I was eleven. I went to the hospital and found out that I … *deep breath* that i had a concussion, three broken ribs, four cracked ribs, a broken wrist, and a sprained ankle. Mother told them that… *deep breath* that I threw myself down the stairs because of an argument and that i wasn't getting my way. I was put on suicide watch for two weeks after getting out of the hospital.

“When I was sixteen, a few days after a suicide attempt, Mother had me make dinner. I was cutting up vegetables when… *deep breath in. Hold. Deep breath out that shudders* when Mother came in and told me that I .. that I was doing it wrong. So she, she *deep shuddering breath* she took the knife out of my left hand forcefully and stabbed, she stabbed my right hand and pinned it to the cutting board beneath.”

Ally holds up her hand and traces the scar that is on both the back of her hand and on her palm.

“Mother called nine one one, the emergency line in America, and acted like she was in hysterics talking about how her daughter just stabbed herself, that said daughter threatened to kill her before she did it. After surgery to try and fix the muscles and tendons and stuff in my hand and stitching me up the doctors recommended that Mother puts me in a mental hospital. An insane asylum.

“I was there for a week before PJ and Orion got Mother to take me out. My right hand is weaker than my left now by the way.”

Ally had tears running down her face at this point and had her face angled down so the camera couldn't catch it.

“At seventeen I had argument with Mother about college. When I said I was going to a college in New York City with a full ride and was going to study music she slapped me across the face. My sisters, Kalypso and Artemis walked into the kitchen where we were as she slapped me. Kalypso turned and walked right back out. Artemis stayed and started to yell that hitting your own child was wrong.

“That's when she raised her hand to slap Artemis. I stepped between them and told my mother that if she _ever_ hurt _any_ one of my siblings that I'll come back and kill her. She laughed and I went to Cornell. Little does she know that I was serious. My brother Ajax may hate me. Kalypso may ignore as much as possible. And my brothers Erebos and Zephyr may not talk to me. But they are my siblings. And I will protect them like the big sister I am.”

Ally takes a deep breath and wipes her face with the sleeve of the hoodie before looking back up to the camera.

“And that's my childhood. Well excluding the bullying and self harm.”

Ally then films a quick outro.

“Well that's that. So go on and check my last video if you haven't seen it and subscribe to see my future videos. Bye my demigods.”

With that Ally stands up and turns off her camera and grabs the stuffed lion she put on top of her suitcase and hugs it to her chest.

She then trudge down stairs and cuddles into Phil while he get some work done on his laptop in his room.

Phil glances at Ally before wrapping one of his arms around her and going back to work.

“Have you figured out what you're going to be for Halloween yet?” Ally asks randomly.

“No, how ‘bout you?” Ally shakes her head in answer before going back to watching Phil type.

That's where Fay found the two of them. After taking a quick picture, that Phil looked up for, Fay turned and left the two of them.

“You know Dan, Ally and Phil have been getting awfully close,” Fay muses in the living room.

“Yeah. Phil likes her so it just a matter of time before it becomes mutual,” Dan quips back.

“Sooner than you think Dan. Sooner than you think,” is Fay's response as she sits with him.

“Hey Phil?” Ally asks.

“Hm?”

“Do you think Dan and Fay will realize their feelings soon?” Ally muses.

Phil looks at Ally with a raised eyebrow.

“Have you met them? They wouldn't admit their feelings even to themselves. It'll be a miracle if they actually get together, love.”

“True,” Ally laughs.

The next few weeks was filled with editing, filming and turning Ally's channel back to its normal schedule of posting, along with Tumblr post and random tweets. Things were going smoothly. 

Ally was getting more subscribers, Fay got her channel up and running with an increase in subscribers each day, and Dan and Phil each were promoting the girls’ channels. Not to mention that Ally had basically moved into Phil's room and Fay gladly takes up all of the pull out couch in the office. Many people are taking to social media to point out all of Ally’s stuff that are on screen for Phil's videos and live streams. 

Those things included Ally's pillows and her blankets which are now set up as on Phil's side of the bed his checkered pillow is on top of her galaxy one and then switched for Ally's side which happens to be the side closer to the camera. The comforter is switches but is usually Phil's. Ally's is used when the checkered one needs to be washed, but Ally's chunky purple knitted one is a staple that sits folded nicely at the foot of the bed.

Ally's lion that she has dubbed Aslan sits on the dresser with Phil's much smaller one, Lion. Ally's light blue and white electric guitar is also in a visible corner of the room set on its black stand. Then there's Ally's finished Yarn Projects (patent pending by Fay) that then decorate not just Phil's room, but also Dan's room, the office, and the living room. 

One of Dan's live streams witnessed Fay juggling four crocheted octopi while Dan nonchalantly talking about his day. The chat flipped out about Fay while he completely ignored it and chat. Similar to the pillow incident.

Soon enough each of the four had found a costume for Halloween and they had been invited to a costume party hosted by Louise that a lot of YouTubers who live in or relatively close to London were invited.

None of the four consulted each other for their costumes. So each of their costumes are a surprise for the other three.

They all met in the living room in their costumes. Fay's dressed as a female version of Captain Jack Harkness. Dan's dressed as a llama, the costume looks like adult footie pajamas to be honest. Phil is Prince Naveen and is using Ally's ukulele (with permission after being threatened that if it ended up lost or broken she would end him). Then Ally is a female Sherlock.

Each of them look at each other before Fay bursts into laughter.

“Damn it, now we just need a fem!Dean, because we are a third of the way to Superwholock!” Fay exclaims after the other three look over at her oddly. Ally, after realizing what Fay means, starts to laugh as well.

The party went somewhat well. Fay got drunk. Ally got a bit tipsy due to being a light weight and Fay giving Ally alcohol.

Tipsy Ally didn't want to leave Phil's side the whole time. Phil was talking to Louise and Ally was holding on to Phil's arm, trying not to spill her drink, and giggling at nothing.

"You okay, love?" Phil asks, looking down at Ally leaning heavily on him.

"Yeah, darlin' I'm fine," Ally slurs with her southern accent going full force.

Louise laughs. "She doesn't drink often does she?"

"Fay said that the last time Ally got drunk was her twenty-first birthday at some pub in America. Fay had her do shots or something," Dan answers come up to the three. "Speaking of Fay, she's passed out drunk."

"It's past midnight anyway. Thanks for having us Louise, it was fun," Phil replies back after checking his phone and hugging Louise awkwardly with Ally still holding onto him.

Dan give a quick hug and thanks before going to get Fay to carry her out, while Phil tries to lead Ally who has a hard time walking.

Waiting outside for a cab, Dan sits on the sidewalk (or pavement since they are in England) with Fay sleeping in his lap, leaning against his chest. Ally and Phil are standing next to them . Ally still leaning against Phil.

"Hey Phil?" Ally asks, her voice still slurred and with its accent.

"Yes love?" Phil asks looking down at the redhead who is looking back up at him.

Dan is watch with curiosity. Is she going to tell Phil that she like him? Or is it going to be just some random thing her drunk mind thought of.

"I like you a lot. And that scares me sometimes," Ally says, her voice is less slurred now but the accent is still there.

Both boys stare at her in shock before Phil's breaks into a huge smile.

"I like you a lot too, love. But we'll talk about it more when you're sober," replies back, kissing the top of Ally's head.

"Kay," Ally accepts and snuggles back into Phil where she is still hugging his arm.

Dan just looks on with a smile. Well it seems that Fay missed the big reveal.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is very very late.... It just wouldon't come out though I have the last three chapters planned at least. Yes I said last three. Three more chapters to write and I'll have my second fanfic ever finished. Woo. This o short though sorry...

The next month and half leading up to Christmas was a mix of video, dates, and social media for Ally and Phil. The fans started giving ship names for Ally and Phil and Ally and Dan. Philly and Dally being the most popular between the fans.

Though Ally and Phil shot down Philly and replaced it with Phally so that their ship name wasn't a nickname. Then Dan was not pleased that his friendship with Ally was turned into a ship but wasn't surprised due to all the random collabs they have been doing together.

Ally even vloged one of her dates with Phil to break it to the fans that they were dating. The reactions were definitely mixed. Some were excited some were disappointed.

Ally worked hard to get the right gifts for her three friends with Christmas coming up. She ended up doing a nice colored pencil drawing of Dan for said brunet, a set of fandom related hats for Fay, and a cd of a Ally's personal favorite songs that she has covered for Phil that she knows that he listens to originally.

Ally also noticed her ukulele go missing sometime in November. Which she thought was odd. She also needed it for a video but oh well.

Now close to Christmas and Ally's birthday, everyone was getting ready to leave to see their respective families. Though Ally and Fay were currently arguing about leaving.

"Ally this is ridiculous. Your mother is insane! Do you really think going back to Texas is a smart idea!?" Fay tries to reason, one more.

"Fay, they're my family and it's Christmas, I have to see them," Ally argues back, quickly becoming frustrated with Fay's persistence. 

"Fay has a point Ally," Phil input softly, which brings Ally's glare to him.

"If I don't go back to Texas, then what the hell am I going to do? Fay's going to Australia to bitch at her parents about the arranged marriage. Dan's going to visit his family, along with you to your's. So the leaves my to either go to Texas to see my family or stay here, alone, with the possibility of an anxiety attack, a mood swing, or even a suicide attempt. And I for one rather risk my family than being alone with a ton a of possibilities," Ally rages.

The living room goes quiet with that. Ally's standing, her arms akimbo, between the table and the couch, facing the doorway to the hall. Phil's sat at the table while Fay's on the couch. Dan decided to not get involved and kept to his room.

Phil then gets an idea. "Come with me. That way you can meet my family."

Ally turns to look at Phil in mild shock. Fay gives Phil a winning smirk. They got her. They gave her a new option that gets her away from her horrid family. Well minus Phoebe, Orion, Artemis, and Daedalus, they're fine.

Then all of a sudden Ally leaves the room and a door is slammed somewhere in the apartment.

"You want to talk about it, Ally, or are you going to just pout in my room?" Dan asks the redhead that is sprawled across his bed as he spins in his butt chair to face her. Ally just stays silent.

"Okay, well I understand why they are asking to have you not go visit your family, and I understand why you're fighting it. So let's meet in the middle somewhat. Why don't you call Artemis and ask about your mum and if she thinks if it will be safe for you or not."

Ally stays silent and Dan turns back to his laptop knowing that Ally will think about it.

Five minutes later Dan can hear Ally tapping on her phone followed by it ringing. Dan then puts headphones on and music to give Ally some privacy. 

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Artie, it's Ally."

_"Oh, hey! You coming home for Christmas?"_

"That's, uh, what I kinda called about... Um do you think Mother would snap or something? If I was there, I mean."

Silence meets Ally's ear from the phone.

_Mother plans on drinking, especially if you're there. I don't recommend you coming. But if anything happens I'll call you immediately."_

"Alright, thanks Artie. I'll await y'all's gifts for me."

_"No problem, Als. Enjoy your Mother free Christmas, bye."_

"Thanks, will do, bye." Ally laughs into the phone before hanging up.

Ally stands and gives Dan a quick hug before making her way the short distance to Phil's room.

"Sorry," was said before the redhead flopped onto her side of the bed.

Phil looked at her briefly before setting down the book he was reading.

“I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Dan talked to you?” Phil states but sounds more like a question.

“Yeah… so um… do you think your family will like me?” Ally asks.

“Of course, love,” Phil says, running his hands carefully through Ally's hair that she left curly. The curls rivaling Dan's hobbit hair. Ally hums in pleasure at the action.

Christmas was definitely a new experience for Ally, meeting the Lesters. Though it was also pleasant. Ally got an assortment of guitar picks that varied in material and size from Phil, her ukulele back from Fay which she somehow got signed by Twenty One Pilots, and a sweatshirt and some graphic tees from Dan. The ukulele had Ally claim that Fay was ‘Best Friend Goals’ with Phil giving a little noise of disbelief as a joke at Ally's claim which got him an eyeroll and a reply of him being ‘Boyfriend Goals’ to which he made a dramatic show of being pleased with that answer.

Soon Christmas was over and New Years was starting up with all of them together back at the apartment.

“Hey Dan? Can I borrow your piano?”

“Sure Ally just let me grab my phone and laptop.”


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay two more chapters and the last one is ready. I just got to finish the one after this... It's a long one...

Ally glanced into her and Phil's room briefly, seeing that for whatever reason that he is on his bed with his back facing the door doing a live stream. The viewers could see her though. Ally then races to the living room in search of Fay.

“Fay! Fay? You got any red lipstick?” Ally stage whispers, a huge smile on her face.

“Upstairs on the desk. Why?” Fay suspects Ally is up to no good. Dan looks up with a question but Ally cuts him off with another stage whisper.

“Y'all see in a sec.” Ally's southern accent comes out full force with all of her excitement and leaving the door way.

“What was with the accent?” Dan asks.

“She tends to hide her southern accent. Told you all ready that she's from Texas,” Fay answers simply, going back to Dan's laptop.

Ally found the lipstick and race down the stairs to put it on with a mirror. She puts it on a bit more thickly than she should and races back up the stairs.

The chat informed Phil that Ally was behind him, though she did plan for that.

“What are you doing, love?” Phil asks as Ally hugs him from behind.

“Oooohhh, nutin’” Ally stretches with her accent.

Phil just smiles and cuddles back into Ally. Then Ally smacks a kiss onto Phil's cheek and runs out of the bedroom. Phil looks back to the doorway in confusion before turning back to the stream.

“That was odd…” Phil tells the viewers. The viewers then start commenting like crazy to look in a mirror. Confused, Phil goes and picks up Ally's hand mirror off of the nightstand.

Turning to the stream he tells them that he will be right back, before he leaves the screen.

“Ally!” Phil shouts through the house. He can hear her feet on a set of stairs. All the while the stream is going crazy with the duo’s ship name, Phally.

Phil eventually catches Ally by the bathroom and throws her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes **(yes potatoes. I could have gone for flour but that seemed to much the _The Hunger Games_ )** and carries her back up the stairs to their bedroom.

Once in view of the camera Phil turns so Ally can face the camera.

“Well I caught the naughty girl who left lipstick on my face,” Phil states.

Ally just smirks at the camera and holds her index finger up to her lips and a shushing motion. Then all of a sudden she brings her hand down and smacks Phil's butt. That startles Phil so much his grip loosens on Ally. Ally then tumbles down to the floor from Phil's back and Phil tips forward with the loss of weight and trips over the foot of his bed and on to the floor.

With the crash Fay and Dan race to the room to see what happened. The chat blows up with question marks since they can't see the redheaded girl or the raven haired boy. The whole apartment is in dead silence.

Then Ally's laughter echoes throughout the room and cutting the silence.

“I didn’t expect that!” Ally says through her laughter and sits up. Phil sits up and chuckles. The lipstick stain still on his cheek.

“God you two gave us a scare,” Dan sighs putting his hand against his chest in relief.

“What the _fuck_ were you two _doing_?” Fay asks.

“Phil, I think ending the stream would be a good idea,” Dan states and walks over to Phil's laptop and turning off the stream after hearing an agreement.

“Ally left lipstick on my face and ran.” Phil points to the - now smudged - lipstick stain on his left cheek.

Ally continues the explanation. “He chased me and caught me by the bathroom, and carried me back here. He called me naughty to the stream, so I smacked his butt.”

“What the hell are we going to do with the two of you.” Dan shakes his head exasperated. Fay nods in agreement while Ally starts to giggle on the floor again.


	14. Update!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing update

Hello everyone. I know this was almost finished but my writing as developed and I feel that certain topics that I wanted talked about were either not address or addressed poorly or even incorrectly. Kayla and I have agreed to rewrite. After a rewrite all of this I will take chapter down and then post at a regular interval.

Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope this turns out better and you all like it.

\- The Amazing Book Worm


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